A Conversation with Brad Montague

Have you struggled with negative self-talk? I know I have.

Do you ever worry that you’re not smart enough and ask yourself, “Why would people care at all about what I have to say?”

Have you ever felt your personality was too intense or that it might be keeping people from spending time with you?

Do you ever find yourself thinking that you’re just not a very fun person to be around?

I’m not sure if you struggle with negative self-talk or perfectionist-like, but each have impacted my life and the ways I relate to others. The stress of overthinking and worrying can completely drain my energy. It’s made me struggle to get out of bed some days and, on others, made it a struggle to fully dive into working with my team. And it’s kept me from truly letting loose with my friends and family.

Brad Montague’s book is refreshing for many reasons, but one of the main ones is the humility he shows throughout it. His introduction focuses on a list of things he is not good at, and the chapters that follow are laced with the insecurities that he has had to fight through. This honest and humble communication is what led me to devour this book in a matter of hours and soak in every life-changing lesson.

Here are a few:

1. You are perfectly cast in your role. The world needs you just the way you are. Yes, you. Broken and all. It’s that brokenness that can be most inspiring to others. Sure, our insecurities can scream so loudly, at times, it’s impossible to hear anything else (I still struggle at times fighting the self-talk I shared before). It’s these times that our presence can have the most profound impact and encouragement to others. So, be you! We need you.
2. Show up and be present. One example Brad discusses is the difference between a child’s brain and an adult brain. A child’s brain is thinking about only this moment and nothing else. An adult’s brain is thinking about anything and everything else but this moment. Kids (and adults) need us to show up and be present. Stop making excuses for why you need to move or cancel a meeting or a call with a family member or old friend. Show up. Be fully present in the moment, and the rest will take care of itself. We can’t control any outcome, but we can control our daily habits of showing up and being fully present for every moment.
3. Dance! Kids don’t think adults can dance, and they are right about me. However, I believe kids just want adults to let loose. Before reading this book, I was the guy who sat on the couch and watched my 4-year-old son Noah lead a family dance party. Now, I am right in the mix with him. I certainly can’t dance any better, now, but the joy the moment brings me, him and our entire family is worth the embarrassment of looking like Will Ferrell from A Night at the Roxbury in my living room.

These are just three of at least 10 or 15 powerful and inspiring life lessons that I took away from Brad’s book. If you want to unlock joy in your life and learn how to unlock joy in the people around you, please pick up “Becoming Better Grownups” today. You can thank me – well, Brad – later ;)